My Food Plan

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I want to talk about my food plan today. I need to get it out there so that I can be accountable. I have been slipping and sliding like crazy. I can't put together two weeks of abstinence. I have been binging on sugar, cereal, pizza... Ugh.

All right. I think that the food plan that best fits my needs is very similar to the HOW plan. This is the plan that I followed a few years ago... It was very successful, and really, as I followed this plan, I found out that my cravings were lifted, I was free to be serene and let go of my obsession with food.

So here it is. It's simple.

Breakfast: protein, fruit

Lunch: protein, vegetables

Dinner: protein, vegetables, salad

Three meals per day only.

Non-caloric drinks only: Diet Coke, coffee, water

No sugar, no refined white flour.

Fresh Start Tomorrow

Charlie, compulsive overeater, here...

::Hi, Charlie!::

Looks like my sloppy abstinence turned into full-blown relapse. Starting fresh in the morning.

Nine

Hi, everyone. My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Day Nine. Thank you, God. Just checking in. I'm still here.

I'm Still Here...

Charlie, Compulsive Overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm still here. I'm still abstinent. Day Four and counting! I went to a meeting on Saturday morning and it helped a lot.

More to come. Just glad to be here. Glad the last post wasn't a drive-by...

Middle or End?

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Wow. I haven't been here in a long time. Thank you so much to all who have bothered to write and comment. It matters. I appreciate you.

I'm on Twitter now. It occurred to me that maybe if I could Tweet throughout the day about my feelings and choices, it might help me stay abstinent moment by moment. It hasn't worked that way so far. But maybe it will at some point.

I'm definitely in relapse. The question is, where am I in the relapse. Am I in the middle, or am I at the end? I know the answer to that question... It's up to me. It's all about my conscious decisions. Will I choose life and God? Will I choose my health and well-being? Will I choose a life of freedom? Or will I choose illness, instability, chaos, bondage? Will I choose death?

It's 7:14pm where I live, and today... Today I am abstinent. Against all odds, I am abstinent. What a gift. What grace.

Now what?

I know a meeting is in order. I called my local OA contact person tonight and left a message. There's a Saturday 8:30am meeting I could get to. I hope I choose to do that.

Willingness. Honesty. Open-mindedness.

I remember those words. I remember the feeling of freedom. I remember losing 65 pounds. I remember fitting in my clothes. I led a meeting for a long time. I loved it. I loved it so much.

Why did I walk away? Why am I seriously contemplating eating some Halloween candy... right now!?

Self-hatred, I think. And fear. And a sense of helplessness. And plain and simple poor choices.

So is there hope for me? Yeah, I still believe there is. I "know" there is - intellectually, that is.

I'll hang on to whatever hope I have. Thanks for reading!

Willingness and Conscious Contact with God

I'm Charlie, a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm willing today. Yesterday too. I can't imagine why. My circumstances haven't changed. I'm still stressed. I still am a new guy in a new job in a new state and a new house. I'm still buying that house, a first for me... We close Monday. Stressful. I still have a big family that I love but who drive me crazy sometimes!

So my circumstances haven't really changed, but the way I'm approaching them has. I'm a man of faith... always have been. And yet I often forget to give God my life... to place Him right in the center of all I am and all I do. I easily neglect daily time alone with God.

As part of my new life here, I decided that I needed to add structure. I can't do all I need or want to do in my life if I don't plan my life. So I sat down and created a schedule. Now this is often a recipe for failure for me. Being a perfectionist, the first time I deviate from the plan even a little, I often use that as an excuse to just say "Screw it!" and give up.

Not this time. I have actually been living on my schedule for 4 days now, and I haven't done it all perfectly, but I've stayed pretty close. And I'm actually 2 days abstinent now. Yesterday I actually ate abstinently through not one, but TWO buffet lines where I was a guest. Thank You, God!

I attribute this to one part of my daily schedule. At 8:30am, for four days now, I have spent time ALONE with God... reading scripture, reading a devotional book, journaling, praying, meditating.

And I'm growing stronger as I surrender. It's amazing. I'm grateful.

Off the Wagon, and Back On

Charlie, compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Last night, binge. Today, back on the wagon.

God is good.

More tomorrow. I'm going to bed on time tonight. Gotta start treating this body like the Temple that it is.