Monday, December 28, 2009

Day Twenty-Seven

Hey Friends! My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It's tough to post every day during this time of year. I am a worship pastor, and I am extremely busy this time of year...

We ended up canceling all of our Christmas Eve services due to a very unexpected blizzard... It was a bummer, but it was good at the same time. Home with the family. What an unexpected blessing.

I'm still abstinent, although I'd call my eating a little sloppy. Time again to tighten up my plan and stay the course. I get discouraged by the lack of results on the scale, but at least I'm not gaining.

I gotta run. I'll keep checking in.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Day Twenty-Three

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Never fear, dear reader. I didn't post yesterday, but it was due to a lack of time, not a lack of abstinence.

I am grateful today for the willingness to not overeat. The willingness to say yes to three healthy meals every day. The willingness to not worry (too much) about the weight.

I have three services to produce tonight, if we're not snowed out. I am not worried about it. Sunday was my big day. Tonight will be simple and elegant. And fun. And I can't WAIT until tomorrow morning!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Day Twenty-One

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm celebrating three weeks of abstinence today! I am so grateful for a place to check in and talk about it. Thanks for being here.

I am feeling a little slippery today. Sometimes my "modified" HOW plan gives me a little too much leeway. Today I had a huge omelette for lunch. Way too much meat and cheese. But it's OK. I'm trying to have grace.

I have been hovering around 215 on the scale, and I'm frustrated again by my lack of loss. But the truth is, it's great to be hovering around 215 instead of hovering around 220-225, right? Right.

This is gonna be a slow process. One day at a time, I'm gonna let my Higher Power take care of the weight loss.

Rough week. Just completed my big Christmas concert at church a few days ago, but there's no rest. My wife is working, so I'm trying to work full-time AND watch our kids... or at least manage them. And I have three big Christmas Eve services Thursday night. Then I have - check this out - a funeral on Saturday morning and a wedding on Saturday night. The DAY AFTER Christmas. Then the next morning, two worship services. Sundays come with alarming regularity these days. :)

God, give me the serenity... I have SEVEN services between now and next week at this time. Oh yeah, and Christmas too.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Day Twenty

Hi, I'm Charlie, a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Wow. What a day yesterday was. Great morning of wonderful music. The Christmas concerts were wonderful. Thanks for your support and encouragement.

And I'm still abstinent! I even "rewarded" myself by taking two of my kids to see AVATAR yesterday in digital 3-D. It was thrilling, really revolutionary filmmaking.

And I didn't eat anything in the theater.

I'm nearly to three weeks. Thank You, God.

You know what's cool? I've never checked in this often. I've never actually posted EVERY DAY for three weeks. I know it's helping. I'm committed to it.

And I said this on Twitter, but not here on the blog yet. Another thing I'm excited about is that I've been flossing every night. Just another little choice I'm making toward health. Another evidence of newfound discipline in my life.

Thank You, God.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Day Eighteen

Charlie, COE.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Great day. Still abstinent. More tomorrow.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Day Eighteen

Hi, I'm Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm grateful for abstinence during this crazy season of life. I have a great big Christmas cantata at my church tomorrow morning. This morning's dress rehearsal went well, so I'm not that worried anymore. I hope I can just relax and enjoy.

And not eat. They're doing this huge breakfast in between services, and I am committing NOT to eat anything. I'm going to eat breakfast before I go, so I shouldn't have any more food until lunch tomorrow after it's all over.

I'll let you know how it all goes! Say a prayer for me!

I can't.
God can.
I guess I'll let God.


Friday, December 18, 2009

Day Seventeen

Hi, I'm Charlie, a recovering compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Just had to check in. I can't stay long. But I'm still here, and I'm still abstinent. I have a party to go to tonight, so I'm just going to do this one day at a time here, but I know I will go to sleep tonight abstinent.

I'm so grateful for a little weight loss. Honestly, things aren't feeling so tight on me right now. Love it.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Day Sixteen

Hi, I'm Charlie, a recovering compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm just grateful for the number on the scale this morning. And that's all I have to say for today. It feels good when the weight starts to be removed from my body.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Day Fifteen

Hi, I'm Charlie, a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!:

Too busy to talk much. I've very abstinent today. (You know, as opposed to just "barely abstinent.") But I'm also very busy and very stressed out. And very tired. And very concerned about my big concert Sunday morning. I have rehearsals all night tonight, rehearsal tomorrow night, rehearsal Saturday morning... all for a 75-minute concert on Sunday!

I think what's stressing me out most of all is that I haven't worked with an orchestra before. This will be new. And I want to do a good job. I probably will make some mistakes. I don't even know what those mistakes could be, and that is frustrating to me.

But eating over these stresses would only make me sorry, would only bring me shame and self-hatred. For today, I am going to focus on going to bed abstinent TONIGHT and let tomorrow (and Friday, Saturday and, especially, Sunday) take care of itself.

To God be the glory. Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Day Fourteen

My name is Charlie, and I'm compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Two weeks. What a gift of willingness from God. I am so grateful.

It's Holiday Eating Season here in my part of the country (and I know all over!). Just this morning someone from my office gave me a delicious little bag full of sweet Chex mix. Oh man. That is right up my alley. But I brought it home, and I'll give it to the kids tonight.

I gotta run. SO busy right now. God, give me serenity. Give me strength. Give me peace. Give me a great SUNDAY this week, and all the practices leading up to Sunday... tomorrow night, Thursday night, Saturday morning, Sunday early morning... Peace in the storm.

Talk to you later! Thanks for coming and reading!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Day Thirteen

I'm Charlie, a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm glad to be here, recovering from compulsive overeating one day at a time. I'm grateful that I've been choosing to come here every day and write about my feelings and my program. I'm grateful for the friends who come here and read what I write and support me. I am grateful for my thirteen days of abstinence from my compulsive overeating. I'm grateful for a little bit of weight loss. I'm grateful for amazing music. I'm grateful for the job that provides food and a home and clothes and presents for my wife and kids.

I went outside to smoke a clove cigarette last night. I just wasn't into it. I came in and threw them all away. My last pack. Not that I was ever addicted to that, thank God, but it was my last pack ever... crazy that I was so ready to just get rid of them. I'm grateful.

Now it's time to put my kids to bed, at least the younger ones. I don't talk about my kids too much here on the blog, but I will tell you that I have 4 kids. A 14-year-old son, an 11-year-old son, and 8-year-old twins, a boy and a girl.

I'm so grateful for my kids! What a gift from God. I'm reading with them, and then I'll tuck them in and kiss them and tell them that they are special and that they are perfect just the way they are.

Have a great night, and thanks for reading. Peace to you.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Day Twelve

Hi All, my name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm so grateful to be here. I can't believe I haven't slipped. No sugar for twelve days! Can it be? I'm heading into an unusually busy time of the year for me now. I'm a music minister, and this time of year is a crazy one at our church. I have a big Christmas program to conduct next Sunday. Orchestra, choir, rhythm section. The works. And that's just one Sunday! All of the Sundays in Advent are bigger and more complex than normal Sundays. And then there's Christmas Eve! Three services... music and drama and speaking. And then just two days after Christmas - another Sunday!

I will be running from now until December 28.

But I want to remember to be grateful. I was jobless for several months this summer, on a frantic, nationwide search for a new job. This is frantic, yes, but I'm getting a paycheck, thank God. I have a roof over my head and plenty of food to eat. I have a new life here in a new city, and it's good. Very, very good.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Day Eleven

Charlie, COE.

::Hi, Charlie!::

No time to talk today, just glad to be here and glad to be abstinent. Good face-to-face meeting this morning. Need more of them. No more till Christmas though.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Day Ten

Hey, All... Charlie here, a recovering compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm grateful for ten days of abstinence. I'm grateful for a meeting to go to tomorrow. I'm grateful for friends who check in here on the blog and offer support, feedback and encouragement. I'm grateful for a job. I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for second chances (and third, fourth, fifth, hundreth...). I'm grateful for Christmas trees and gifts and decorations and most of all for the Baby who started this whole thing. I'm grateful for a warm house with a warm bed and warm food.

I'm grateful. It's been a rough day in some ways, but I have nothing to complain about. I am blessed.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Day Nine

Hey Everyone... Charlie here, a recovering compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

Today was a little bit slippery, but I'm OK. I'm trying to give grace to myself and not be too rigid, while at the same time being true to my food plan and being serious about my abstinence. I don't want to get too easy on myself or it will devolve quickly into binging.

I went with a friend to lunch. He chose the restaurant (Vietnamese) and paid for the meal - and then he ordered egg rolls. I ate two. And then I ate a salad. Thought that would be the best choice. And then the salad came with noodles mixed into the lettuce! And bits of eggroll mixed in.

Well, that's it. Thanks so much for your support and encouragement!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Day Eight

Charlie, COE.

::Hi, Charlie!::

No time to post today except to say I'm still alive and I'm still abstinent. Thank you, God!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Day Seven

Hi, I'm Charlie, a grateful recovering compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I had a fairly normal day today... I have to admit I'm battling some cravings and feeling kind of gross...I continue to think that dessert would make me feel better. My headache would go away, and I would be able to bliss out a little bit.

It's true. I would feel better. And then I would feel worse. And then I would binge more. The truth is, when I break abstinence, I break it more. I have a week, a whole week here. I don't want to blow it. I am tired and stressed, and I need to take care of myself. Maybe when I get home tonight I can care for myself a little bit. TV? A nice drink and to bed early?

I am not a big alcohol drinker, but at the party the other night we had some leftover wine and the host sent us home with it. It's a luxury, and I've enjoyed it. I've had two glasses of wine a night since Friday. Tonight will be my last one. I'm all out. :)

Speaking of vices, I am well aware of the dangers of smoking, but I have to confess a weakness for clove cigarettes. For the last decade, I have enjoyed a pack or two every year, spreading them out over the months one cigarette at a time. I am absolutely not addicted to them, and I absolutely hate regular cigarettes. I am not a big fan of cigars either, although I will smoke one like every two years, when a friend invites me to.

Anyway, I was stunned to hear that the US has outlawed clove cigarettes (and all other flavored cigarettes). I was mourning the fact that I'd never again smoke a clove. And then I discovered one unopened pack in my cabinet.

It's freezing here now, so I'm not apt to sit out on my back porch and smoke. And I wouldn't do it until after the kids were sleeping. So it's looking like the cloves will have to wait until spring. Do they expire? Google, here I come...

Just a little trivia for a Tuesday night. Thanks for your support and encouragement, everyone.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Day Six

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm doing well today. Happy to report that I am in my 6th day of abstinence. I really think that checking in every day and reporting meals on Twitter helps. Friends, it helps to know you're out there! Thank you so much for your encouragement!

I have so much to say and no time to say it, so this is just a drive-by posting. More later.

Love and peace to all addicts everywhere! It's so good to know we have a Higher Power who loves us!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Day Five

Charlie here, compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm still abstinent, even after a difficult, long, emotional day.

Just checking in. I'm gonna hang on here...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Day Four

I'm Charlie, a grateful recovering compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm finding my recovery again, one day at a time. So thankful.

Yesterday I had a *tiny* bit of slippery behavior, and I just want to share it. We had a staff Christmas party and I did really, really well. I had chicken and green beans and salad. I left this enormous mound of rice on my plate, and I turned down the dessert. Score! I *did* have some wine, and that's OK on my plan. On a strict HOW diet, it's not OK, but I'm on a "modified" HOW diet of my own making. Alcohol has never been a problem for me, so I allow myself a treat now and then.

Anyway, the real slippery stuff came when I got home. I guess I had been feeling deprived or something. There were some sausage slices on the table, technically within my food plan. I ate probably 10 bite-size chunks.

Not a huge thing, but I want to keep talking about it.

I was down in weight today. I know that's not the whole point, but I'm grateful! Oddly, it's often when I lose a bit of weight that I start to rationalize and let things slip.

Thanks for letting me share!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Day Three

Hello, Everyone. My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I am doing really well. Still on plan. Had a nice abstinent lunch with my wife today, and tonight we have a Christmas party. I'll eat on the plan. I am committed to it today. Staying sober today. One day at a time, right?

Thanks for your support and encouragement! It helps to know that I need to get on here every day and report. You're my meeting for today.

Speaking of meetings, I'm planning on going to a face-to-face meeting tomorrow morning. That'll be so good to be with other compulsive overeaters again. I missed the last 2-3 weeks due to travel and other activities.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Still Here... Day Two and Rockin'

I'm Charlie. I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I had my normal breakfast this morning: cottage cheese and strawberries with coffee.

Lunch was a "naked salad" at Qdoba.

Dinner: A wedge salad at a burger place. The kids were wolfing down burgers and fries, and I - by the grace of God - chose a salad.

Tonight I chose to take a bath. It's been very busy... Insane, actually. We have a bath tub with jets and I had only used it one time before tonight. I lit a candle, enjoyed the bath and the jets and read "Our Invitation to You" from the OA Brown Book.

I haven't even had a Starbucks drink, even though I've thought about it. I have been dodging the bullet. Thank You, God.

Grateful for all who read and care and comment.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Day One, Baby...

I'm Charlie, a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I made it. A whole frikkin' day on my food plan.

Talk to you tomorrow...