Day Sixty!

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

:Hi, Charlie!::

Today is a wonderful day. Today is Day Sixty for me. Thank God for two months of abstinence. Thank God for some peace and freedom around my food choices. Thank God for 22 pounds that I have released from this body of mine.

Still no job. I'm just 6 weeks away from my ending date. I'm afraid in some ways, but I'm at peace in other ways. We'll be okay. God loves me and my family. For Today, I will eat well and carefully. I will love myself because God loves me. I will make those choices well. I will courageously change that which I actually can change. Like the kinds of food I put into my body.

Peace out.

Just Showed Up...

Hey, my name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm doing well today, and I'm grateful. 51 days of staying on my food plan! Thank You God! On this Palm Sunday, the kickoff to Holy Week, I am grateful for my Higher Power, Jesus, and His love and care for me.

I feel like I'm "waking up" again after a long slumber. I love this song by Sara Groves. Click to play and read the words. See if this resonates with you the way it resonates with me.



Just Showed Up for My Own Life
Sara Groves
from the album "Add to the Beauty"
(Buy it from Amazon here. Download it from iTunes here.)

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take
By working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface
Repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the commonplace
Open the windows and feel all that's honest and real
Until I'm truly amazed
I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear
And it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright...

Sara Groves is an amazing singer-songwriter. Her grasp of human nature and God's grace and her ability to put it into words is so encouraging to me. Check out her website here.

Breathe Deep, Charlie

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I stepped on the scale and saw 200 pounds today. What a cool thing. I'm grateful to God for removing my cravings and giving me the willingness day by day to live sugar and refined white flour. I am willing today to live with only three very structured meals. And as a result my body has seen fit to "let go" of 22 pounds in the last 50 days or so. Thank You, God!

Even in the midst of some really crazy life experiences... a job transition coming up and no job on the horizon and no money in the bank and a wife and four kids to feed... I have peace. I know that God is doing in me what I couldn't do for myself. I will be fine.

It's funny... Maybe I already wrote about this, I don't remember, but in this chaos, I can't control a lot... Will so-and-so call? Will I be the right fit for this job? I can't control these things. I let them go. What I can do is choose - NOW - to eat abstinently. I can choose to jog in the mornings. And sometimes I do make that choice and it feels awful and wonderful all at the same time. In this time where I don't have a lot of control over my life, it feels good to make healthy choices where I can.

I'm grateful to God and OA for giving me the tools to recognize the choices I can make and to make those choices wisely. When I'm in relapse I can't see or make those choices. With a little sobriety here, I have the freedom again to make those choices well.

Breathe deep, Charlie. It'll be OK.