Friday, April 3, 2009

Breathe Deep, Charlie

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I stepped on the scale and saw 200 pounds today. What a cool thing. I'm grateful to God for removing my cravings and giving me the willingness day by day to live sugar and refined white flour. I am willing today to live with only three very structured meals. And as a result my body has seen fit to "let go" of 22 pounds in the last 50 days or so. Thank You, God!

Even in the midst of some really crazy life experiences... a job transition coming up and no job on the horizon and no money in the bank and a wife and four kids to feed... I have peace. I know that God is doing in me what I couldn't do for myself. I will be fine.

It's funny... Maybe I already wrote about this, I don't remember, but in this chaos, I can't control a lot... Will so-and-so call? Will I be the right fit for this job? I can't control these things. I let them go. What I can do is choose - NOW - to eat abstinently. I can choose to jog in the mornings. And sometimes I do make that choice and it feels awful and wonderful all at the same time. In this time where I don't have a lot of control over my life, it feels good to make healthy choices where I can.

I'm grateful to God and OA for giving me the tools to recognize the choices I can make and to make those choices wisely. When I'm in relapse I can't see or make those choices. With a little sobriety here, I have the freedom again to make those choices well.

Breathe deep, Charlie. It'll be OK.

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