Taking a cue from my friend G. Rabanon, I thought I'd drop by with a quick check-in, even though I'm hella busy. (Love that expression. It's so Oakland.) So, bullet points:
- I'm on Day 37 of abstinence with the OA-HOW structure.
- I'm busy with work, seminary, program work, bills/budget stuff, phone calls, meetings, and of course my beautiful wife and kiddos.
- I started having some serious cravings yesterday... Mexican, Italian, cheese, chocolate. I wrote about it this morning... I'm OK. I'll get through.
- I remembered a little bit ago that I had a dream last night where I lost my abstinence! I ate a handful of chocolate candies, not even thinking about it... and then I was like "Shit! I just ate chocolate!" I immediately felt (in my dream) such shame and guilt... This horrible feelingin the pit of my stomach. Relapse. That ugly word. I was thinking of how I would tell my sponsor, of the 35 days of abstinence that I had just flushed down the toilet. Very interesting.