Saturday, January 16, 2010

Day Forty-Six

Hey Everybody, I'm Charlie, a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm skipping a meeting RIGHT NOW as I type, and I'm not happy about it. My wife had to go to work on a Saturday morning, so I'm with kids. It's OK, I guess. It gives me a little unstructured time, for which I'm grateful.

I'll get some blogging done and respond to some emails.

Uh, did I mention it's Day 46? Woo-hoo!

And I've lost 14 pounds from my high of 227 on November 29.

Thank You, God!


innerpilgrimage said...


Like the program tells us, it works if you work it, so work it 'cause you're worth it. I am so glad you're enjoying the benefits (emotional, physical, spiritual) of abstinence again.

I think that's one of the wonderful things about OA--that no matter what happens with my abstinence tomorrow, people will be happy to see me walk through a meeting door anyway.

Together we can do what we could never do alone. I like being able to visit your blog and see how you're doing.

innerpilgrimage said...

I just read your twitter about struggling with relapse, and I hope that you made it through that day.

You've done so much and come so far. This spiritual journey side-by-side with the food-plan abstinence isn't easy when the compulsive overeating wolves are howling at the door.

You can make it, even if your body and mind fails you. God, your Higher Power, will walk you through this and will carry you if you need it. I love that when you feel fearful of relapse, you immediately turn to God for strength. That's how I survive, and when you make it through that wilderness, I take heart that I can, too.

Together, we can do what we could never do alone.

innerpilgrimage said...

Okay, I'm gonna be brutal here, since your sponsor isn't doing it.

Your current food plan isn't working. Only you know if it's too restrictive or too loose, but it has to change to something that's a sturdy handrail to abstinence, not a prison and not a flimsy rope.

Weighing yourself daily isn't working. Even the OA literature admits once a month is probably best. And, as a compulsive weigher, myself, my day can be amazing or ruined depending on what my scale tells me. Just like I have to put my scale away, you need to, also.

Skipping meetings isn't working. We're addicts, just like alcoholics and just like drug addicts. We use food to numb and soothe ourselves, to medicate ourselves. People who I've met who step multiple groups say that OA is the hardest because they don't have a "drug plan" or "alcohol plan" to contend with. We need the input of others to help us figure out what works for us. And, food addiction has a horrible side effect--isolation. Isolation is death, because when we isolate, we aren't accountable to anyone. Plus, the people in that room empathize. They know what it's like to feel the siren song from the refrigerator or the bakery or the fast food joint.

Charlie, you're worth it. You're worth the footwork to heal the whole kit and caboodle. Diets don't work, but recovery does. I mean, if it didn't, why would every diet plan out there be offering support to "change the way you eat".

You're the first OA blogger I ever found. You inspired me to know I could do this. Because of you, I'm getting an OA 4 month coin tonight (okay, it's an AA coin with the serenity prayer on the back, but it's still a milestone). You gave me hope that I could find not only a body I could like but recovery of my spirit, heart, mind, and soul. You can do this, Charlie. I have as much faith in that fact as I do in the program. I promise you that you are worth it.