Friday, February 20, 2009

Spiraling Into... Surrender?

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm listening to the innocence mission, a favorite band of mine. Their sound could adequately be descibed as "serene." And since that's what we as addicts in recovery are constantly asking God for, it's a good thing to listen to.

Today is Day Six for me. It's been quite a while since I had this much continual abstinence... probably since the summer.

I have a little bit of a predicament coming tomorrow night. You know, it's not. Now that I "hear" myself talking about it, it's not a problem at all. I am meeting a friend and going to a concert, and I want to drink a beer. Beer is not a problem for me as far as the alcohol goes. It's just that it's not on the plan. And EVERY TIME I go off the plan, even a little bit, I spiral out of control.

I SHOULD say I spiral INTO control. I try to control it. "OK, a little alcohol is fine. I'll eat less tomorrow..." quickly becomes "Maybe one cookie won't hurt this one time," which - for me - leads to sneaky McDonald's drive-thru trips.

So I need to let go, to surrender control to God. No drinking for me. It's Diet Coke. No problem. Should be a lot of fun.


SAbrat said...
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SAbrat said...

Hey Charlie! Sounds like you know what you need to do. Surrender. I was watching something yesterday and they were talking about surrender. They said that surrender is when someone has a gun pointed at you and you just give up. Then they said the real word we should use is commitment. We should be committed to doing what HP says. I thought that was interesting. Hope that you have another abstinent day today. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs.