My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.
::Hi, Charlie!::
I'm really grateful that I'm still "on plan" today. And that's really all I have, right? Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Today, though, I am abstinent. I'm grateful.
I WISH I could see some quicker results. But it's going to come, in God's time. I need to let go of control. Sunday morning was really hard. I stepped on the scale for the first time in a week, having been abstinent for a full week, and I weighed 215 pounds. That sucked. I was hoping for 210. But I know that my expectations are unrealistic. I put this weight back on over two years. To think it's gonna all come off in a really short time is unrealistic. Seems like it did last time, though. Of course, this time I'm two years older. 37 is not 35, as I am well aware.
Sometime I think my body is saying "We'll see... Show me you're actually serious this time. Show me that you can get past a week... Then we might talk about weight loss." :)
Now I need to go practice my faith... This *is* a spiritual program after all. I need to read the scriptures, to pray and to journal. That's what I need. Now. Here I go.
2 comments:
Hi! I'm glad you are back. For months I looked for you but couldn't find you. Even though I'd never written to you, you made me feel understood, less like a weirdo. Even though I am not super heavy, I've been on this weight and emotional roller coaster of eating disorders since I was 16( and now I'm 36). I'm seeig a shrink, I'd been abstinent since the beginning of the year but in the last week I've over eaten three times, including tonight and I am terrified. I want out...
Nice! I'm so glad to hear from you. You are NOT a weirdo. We are all in the together. Keep coming back, keep talking about it. Do you blog about it?
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