Saturday, June 27, 2009

Desperate

Charlie. Compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm bummed and tired and eating a lot of fast food. I'm off the plan and hating it. It is NOT freeing. it is NOT fun. It does NOT taste good, not really. It SUCKS.

But I have a choice. Always. Every day, every moment. I have a choice now, to surrender. I have a choice to work my Program and turn my life and my will over to the care of my God.

I keep getting what feels like bad news on the job front. I'm entering my fourth week of unemployment. I am scared. I need money. My family needs health insurance. My sweet daughter has been crying every night for 2-3 nights because she wants to live in a house of our own instead of with grandma and grandpa. I don't blame her. I know on a deep level this is very unsettling to the kids. It's very unsettling to me.

I believe. I know God has a plan. I know there's a place for us. But I don't see it yet. And I don't know how we'll survive until then.

I believe there's power and peace in turning it over. That's what I need to do. That's what I choose to do. I'm not helpless. God has given me choice. I choose good. I choose right. I choose well. I choose health. I choose life. I choose God.

Starting now. Not tomorrow, not after the next meal or drink. Now. God help me.

3 comments:

SAbrat said...

Charlie, this is Cindy another compulsive overeater. I have to agree... it is so hard to get back on track once you have went back to the food. I can make lots of excuses, but if I want to LIVE...I have got to get back to the basics. For me that is writing down my food and calling it in, writing my God letters, and attending those meetingss... also calling when food calls to me. You probably have something similar.

I have found the more I am out of the food, the more serene my life. In fact, one thing that I have used lately is "You can't trust and worry at the same time" So when I feel the worry start to happen, I immediately yell to HP for help. He is always there... and gives me strength to get through it. I know people who will say you have to do something to work it out... and you do if God says so. But for me I am doing what I can and letting the rest go. God will help it all turn out for my good.

Does this make sense to ya? Well, know that you are not alone. I too have been struggling... but HP will help us through it. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

HUGS....Cindy

Anonymous said...

THank you Charlie- you are so inspiring to me.

Cee said...

Hi, Charlie. I came across your blog after searching for OA support for vegetarians. I left work in October 2008, thinking my husband and I had enough money to support our desire to have one of us stay at home with our daughter. Unfortunately, despite what seemed like careful budgeting and planning, it became obvious very quickly that we would need the second income.

I've been searching for jobs for a few months now, have put in over 100 applications/resumes, and haven't had a bit of luck. I understand what you are going through, and I am very hopeful that you will hear something soon. Good luck, and God bless! ~ Cee