Saturday, February 26, 2011

The 5th Step

My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm meeting my sponsor in about 90 minutes to "admit to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs." Yes, friends, Charlie is taking the fifth step.

Say a prayer for me! I'm excited, but I'm a little nervous at the same time. There are no big skeletons in my closet to reveal (she already knows about all those), but I have a little bit of fear nonetheless.  Not surprising, since fear is one of my character defects. My fear? That my fourth step won't have been "good enough," that my sponsor will somehow think I didn't work it hard enough. Hmmm... There's another character defect rearing its ugly head: people-pleasing.

So glad I'm coming up on the sixth step, where I become "entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

And since I have to leave in an hour, and I still haven't gotten ready or had breakfast, I'd better scoot. I'm revealing another character defect here: procrastination. :)


sanabituranima said...

*hugs and prayers*

Good luck.

Sabilon said...

Dear Charlie, I am pretty sure that you feel really good about your step 5... I have never heard anyone say anything horrible about their step 5, on the contrary. I took one where I asked my then-sponsor whether I could be under his table while I read out some of the juicier bits... He said that was okay, and I literally read them out from under the table (that's where you go when you expect an eathquake, isn't it, hahaha). I have felt so loved by my sponsor and my Higher Power during and after each step 5 I've done. I am now curious what your reaction is.

With greetings from across the oceans,


Anonymous said...

Hi Charlie, am now on Twitter but am not into spending time with it. Plus, no idea how it works. Am sabilon12 on Twitter. Just in case you know how to contact me...

Charlie O. Edinburgh said...

Thanks for the love, you two... I had a wonderful time with my sponsor. There were definitely times when I had to take a deep breath and just keep reading. I hadn't read some of the stuff in months, so it was like, "Oh man... I had forgotten that!" I realized, reading aloud, how petty and insignificant some of my resentments were/are. But all in all, it was an amazing morning. I am so grateful for my wise, wonderful, funny, gracious, kind, generous sponsor.

memoirs of this binge eating triathlete said...

hi Charlie. I'm in need of an outreach phone call. Would you be willing to allow me to call u? I'm not sure why I want to call you in particular, perhaps it's God speaking. Anyway, if u'd be willing would u email me your phone #? O.C.TRI@COMCAST.NET