My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.
Apparently I'm also "normal," at least according to the Body Mass Index (BMI) calculator:
This morning was my monthly weigh-in, and I weigh 171 pounds, the lowest in my adult life. I'm down 61.2 pounds from my most recent high of 232.2, and I'm down 69 pounds from my all-time high of 240.
What a long, strange trip it's been:
And it's not over. Last night I was at a dinner party. Two friend were commenting on the fact that I had brought my dinner in a brown paper bag instead of eating the lasagna they had. As I munched on cold carrots and chicken, one of the women said, "But surely you don't have to do this the rest of your life! You look great! You shouldn't lose any more weight, right?" It was another opportunity to simply tell them that I am working with a doctor and a nutritionist to put the right foods and the right amounts of food into my body, and that I don't know how long I'll do this, but it's working today, so I'm gonna do it tomorrow too...
I remember in the first incarnation of this blog, I finally reached "goal weight," I posted a picture of my feet on the scale showing the number 172. I was so proud. I had arrived. Of course, I wasn't working the steps. I didn't have a sponsor. I didn't even really have a food plan. And later that month... I downed a milkshake from Baskin Robbins. I looked in the mirror. I looked the same. Everything was fine. I was cured. So, later that week, I had another. And then another.
The rest is history, of course, as I plunged into relapse and began a slow-but sure return of every single pound I had lost.
So... Back to normal. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not normal. I'm gonna stick with this thing, because if I don't, I'll be right back where I was in the worst of my disease. I'll gain it all back... and maybe worse, I'll lose the discipline, the clear thinking, the freedom, the spiritual health, the fulfillment, the (9th step) promises that I'm enjoying now. God, never let me forget that.
My name is Charlie. I am *not* normal. I am a compulsive overeater.