Thursday, March 4, 2010

Keep Coming Back

I'm Charlie, a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I don't know what else to do except to keep coming back, to keep trying to work this out... I need to email my sponsor, and I commit to doing that as soon as I publish this post. I am not able to stop eating compulsively. Day after day I am proving my powerlessness.

I know this, I must stop now. I have to turn this over now. Not tomorrow. I have to be abstinent starting now. Even though that's messy and not perfect.

I emailed my sponsor my food plan a few days ago, and she agrees it's a good start.

3 meals a day - no snacks.
No sugar
No refined white flour
Only non-caloric beverages

That's it! I want to surrender to that plan.

The one thing I have stuck to (Jess, you'll be glad to hear this, I think.) is that I have not weighed myself since 2/19. And I won't until 3/19.


Jess said...

That sounds like a very good plan. A lot of people I know in abstinence do very well on that kind of plan. They say the frequency of chemically-triggered cravings for processed foods is almost nil, making the emotional binge triggers just about the only things to contend with.

I'm glad you've stopped weighing. I had an odd week, where my weight crept up depending on where the scale sat on the bathroom floor. Now, I've also been drinking a lot of coffee and nearly no water. I assume that when I properly hydrate so my body flush out the toxins, my weight will go down.

Like I've been told by others about themselves, I can be compulsively addicted to just about anything. I've boxed my scale because it was depressing the heck out of me when I weighed daily. My next official weigh date is March 14 (my 5-month-abstinent monthiversary).

Keep the faith, and I am sure when you get back on that scale, there will be changes in a positive direction--be it weight loss, fat loss, or muscle gain (remember, muscle weighs more than fat, so converting it to muscle and not "losing weight" is a great thing!)

Ms. PJ Geek said...

Hi Charlie, I'm PJ Geek and I'm a food addict. I found your blog from the blog of another..nice little community we have. Yours is the first I've found that has the OA aspect and the added bonus that you are a Christian and worship pastor. I always need to work on my spiritual side.

I 'm a lapsed former OA member though I'm doing pretty well working the program actually. I commend you for working the program and getting a sponsor and committing to a plan. When I went to OA regularly I could never get the nerve to get a sponsor. I've grown since then , Thank you GOD.

My food addiction started probably as a toddler as I remember having binges after climbing out of the crib. I recall climbing up the cabinets of our kitchen and standing on top of the counter as a child to the cookies that were hidden in the highest cabinets (to keep them away from me). So the addiction is pretty entrenched.

I've been working with a nutritionist / therapist/ exercise / prayer / re reading my OA materials and Hazeldon meditation books. Bottom line I've dropped 114 lbs over the last 3 years. It is always work. I slip. I'm not perfect. My philosphy is progress not perfection and trying to make good choices one choice at a time. I've had year long periods of complete sugar free / sugar substitute/caffeine abstinence. But for me, just as gastric bypass surgery just wasn't a consideration so is complete avoidance of different food substances. That's just how I do it though I know it doesn't work for everyone.

My food addict developed to take care of my little hurt child self who couldn't deal with the neglect, drama, fear , that was a part of my early home life .

I just wanted to drop in ..say HI. ...invite you to my blog. You may inspire me to go back to an OA meeting. They are quite a drive for me , but I think that is just probably a little excuse.

the blog name is Pjs and Pounds

Charlie O. Edinburgh said...

Awesome! Thanks for the comments and encouragement, you two!

PJ Geek, I'll add your blog to my blogroll. Feel free to return the favor!