Thursday, March 4, 2010

Keep Coming Back

I'm Charlie, a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I don't know what else to do except to keep coming back, to keep trying to work this out... I need to email my sponsor, and I commit to doing that as soon as I publish this post. I am not able to stop eating compulsively. Day after day I am proving my powerlessness.

I know this, I must stop now. I have to turn this over now. Not tomorrow. I have to be abstinent starting now. Even though that's messy and not perfect.

I emailed my sponsor my food plan a few days ago, and she agrees it's a good start.

3 meals a day - no snacks.
No sugar
No refined white flour
Only non-caloric beverages

That's it! I want to surrender to that plan.

The one thing I have stuck to (Jess, you'll be glad to hear this, I think.) is that I have not weighed myself since 2/19. And I won't until 3/19.

3 comments:

Jess said...

That sounds like a very good plan. A lot of people I know in abstinence do very well on that kind of plan. They say the frequency of chemically-triggered cravings for processed foods is almost nil, making the emotional binge triggers just about the only things to contend with.

I'm glad you've stopped weighing. I had an odd week, where my weight crept up depending on where the scale sat on the bathroom floor. Now, I've also been drinking a lot of coffee and nearly no water. I assume that when I properly hydrate so my body flush out the toxins, my weight will go down.

Like I've been told by others about themselves, I can be compulsively addicted to just about anything. I've boxed my scale because it was depressing the heck out of me when I weighed daily. My next official weigh date is March 14 (my 5-month-abstinent monthiversary).

Keep the faith, and I am sure when you get back on that scale, there will be changes in a positive direction--be it weight loss, fat loss, or muscle gain (remember, muscle weighs more than fat, so converting it to muscle and not "losing weight" is a great thing!)

Ms. PJ Geek said...

Hi Charlie, I'm PJ Geek and I'm a food addict. I found your blog from the blog of another..nice little community we have. Yours is the first I've found that has the OA aspect and the added bonus that you are a Christian and worship pastor. I always need to work on my spiritual side.

I 'm a lapsed former OA member though I'm doing pretty well working the program actually. I commend you for working the program and getting a sponsor and committing to a plan. When I went to OA regularly I could never get the nerve to get a sponsor. I've grown since then , Thank you GOD.

My food addiction started probably as a toddler as I remember having binges after climbing out of the crib. I recall climbing up the cabinets of our kitchen and standing on top of the counter as a child to the cookies that were hidden in the highest cabinets (to keep them away from me). So the addiction is pretty entrenched.

I've been working with a nutritionist / therapist/ exercise / prayer / re reading my OA materials and Hazeldon meditation books. Bottom line I've dropped 114 lbs over the last 3 years. It is always work. I slip. I'm not perfect. My philosphy is progress not perfection and trying to make good choices one choice at a time. I've had year long periods of complete sugar free / sugar substitute/caffeine abstinence. But for me, just as gastric bypass surgery just wasn't a consideration so is complete avoidance of different food substances. That's just how I do it though I know it doesn't work for everyone.

My food addict developed to take care of my little hurt child self who couldn't deal with the neglect, drama, fear , that was a part of my early home life .

I just wanted to drop in ..say HI. ...invite you to my blog. You may inspire me to go back to an OA meeting. They are quite a drive for me , but I think that is just probably a little excuse.

the blog name is Pjs and Pounds http://pjsandcocoaontheporch.blogspot.com/

Charlie O. Edinburgh said...

Awesome! Thanks for the comments and encouragement, you two!

PJ Geek, I'll add your blog to my blogroll. Feel free to return the favor!