Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Checking In Again

Hi Everyone. My name is Charlie, and I'm a compulsive overeater.

::Hi, Charlie!::

I'm going to check in today in bullet points. I honestly don't even feel disciplined enough to write in paragraphs.
  • I'm still abstinent on my "loose" plan: 3 meals a day, no snacks, no sugar.
  • I've started calling that sugar part "intentional acts of sugar." I like that. "No intentional acts of sugar." So that means if there's sugar in a spaghetti sauce or something, that's OK. I don't have to stress about that, but I can't dump sugar on cereal or eat ice cream.
  • I'm tired and listless today.
  • But I've slept a lot lately.
  • Because I was sick as a dog Sunday and Monday. Diarrhea. I know, too much information.
  • It's Spring Break. My wife works full-time. My job is flexible. Thus, I am home and dragging kids around with me when I have to go in to work.
  • I have no willingness to work on recovery. But I think I still want it.
  • I'm scared of my weigh-in on the 19th.
  • I have to lead choir tonight at church and I don't want to.
  • I'm taking a seminary class online, and I feel like I'm falling behind, but I'm not doing much about it.
  • I'm such a food addict that even when I was sick and dehydrated, even when I didn't feel like eating, I still managed to eat something, even though it made me feel worse.
  • And now that I'm "better" (even though my stomach is still sensitive), I am eating stuff that's greasy and not necessarily good for me. Still abstinent, not wise though.
  • OK, thanks for reading.


Ms. Chunky Chick said...

charlie its a hard struggle your facing! You have been sounding so dark and sad! This will pass and there are so many bloggers rooting for you! Just one step at a time!

Ms. PJ Geek said...

I read your post this morning and then kept thinking about it. I know you didn't solicit help, but the only thing I thought of was 'turn it over to God' . I sometimes just read and meditate on the 1st 3 steps and that helps set me right again.

Jess said...

Forward motion, Charlie. It's all about forward motion, and it looks like you're moving forward.

Don't stress about the weigh-in tomorrow. It's just one moment in time. I think you'll be fine. At worst, let it be the starting marker for a life of recovery and abstinence.

Charlie O. Edinburgh said...

Thanks, you guys! I appreciate your support. I'm sorry I sound dark and sad! I probably sound darker and sadder than I really am. I'm really quite an optimist - a totally "glass half full" kind of guy. :)

I have some hope today. Just need to dive into my homework and see some progress. That will make me feel better. I think it didn't help that I started the week sick. And Spring Break is tough because we have all the kids home.